HOW TO UNDERSTAND PEOPLE
Understanding takes form in all of our relationships. I have been through a divorce and was very focused on being friends with my ex-husband. As a result, we are now very close and a great team for our kids.
Professionally, I am in Human Resources and teach yoga, so I deal with different personalities. I have learned that, by taking a little time to understand a situation rather than reacting right away, we can add much peace to all our relationships.
Here are some tips to help you get better at understanding people:
1. Take time to ask simple questions to understand what is going on with the other person.
If they seem upset, angry, irritated, or flustered, ask them what happened during the day to trigger that emotion.
2. Take time to listen to the issue completely.
Use simple phrases to keep the conversation going such as, “I see, and then what happened?” Avoid interrupting until they have expressed the situation fully.
3. Allow the other person to feel how they are feeling.
Ask them how the situation made them feel. Many times, they will tell you what you already figured out from observing their mood. Now all you have to do is allow that emotion.
4. Have compassion for what the other person is going through.
Ask if there is anything you can do to help, give them a hug to show you care and love them. A little love and compassion can provide much comfort.
5. Understand it has nothing to do with you and do not take it personally.
By taking the time to ask, listen, allow and have compassion, it is much easier to understand the other person.
Once you understand, you can decide how to react using an old Sufi tradition which advises us to speak only after our words have managed to pass through four gates. At the first gate, we ask ourselves, Are these words true? If so, we let them pass on; if not, back they go.
At the second gate we ask: Are they necessary?
At the third gate we ask, Are they beneficial?
And at the fourth gate, we ask, Are they kind?
If the answer to any of these is no, then what you are about to say should be left unsaid.
In the end, the person you have taken time to understand will appreciate just knowing you care and more times than not, their mood will be uplifted by talking through what was bothering them in the first place.
This is really helpful however, are these only the steps for you to understand people? Are there more situations that can help a person understand someone?
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DeleteNo, it also depends on the person on how he/she will understand people. Yes, if he/she will reflects on another person's experience or based on his/her own experience.
This must be shared to other people because of the content, it will give some knowledge about how to understand others. But then, does those tips may really help you to understand others? How can you assure that?
ReplyDeleteYes it really helps people because they became more understanding. I can assure you that because it works based on my own experience.
DeleteVery helpful, but some people is OMG I cant even explain there attitude, Is this all we need just to understand people or just the positive things?
ReplyDeleteNo its just an tips to help you. You can reflect on your own or talk to that person to better understand her/him.
DeleteThis topic is very relevant nowadays. And I believe that patience is a powerful tool to understand one's situation. However, most of us are being impatient on ther people's circumstances & feelings, does this thing can be a hindrance to attain better understanding among people? Can I get your opinion about this occurrence?
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DeleteYes it can be a hindrance to attain better understand among people. Because he/she can misunderstood what other people's feelings.
The tips are very helpful and this kind of information is very beneficial to everyone. We can practice those tips for a better understanding so things won't be more complicated and would lessen conflicts. Do you apply the tips mentioned above on yourself? Does this help you be more understanding?
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DeleteYes I apply the tips that are mentioned above and it helps me to become more understanding person.
Very helpful!! People need to socialize, in order to build relationships, and acknowledging that, we need to understand each other for the outcome of harmony. But what if, the person you want to understand, doesn't want to be understandable? How are you going to respond to that situation? Are these steps only this limited? Or are there more?
ReplyDeleteThe tips mentioned above was needed for us to understand the people that we needed to understand and is needed to be understood. There are so many things and ways in order for us to understand a person but if ever that they wouldn't want to be understood then lets just be open minded and respect their decision not to open up. We should still be understanding inspite of them being not wanted to be understood.
DeleteMarami na akong nakitang ganito pero may iba sa ginawa mo so... Its a YES for me. but do you understand yourself?
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